In my story, I share an experience where my ex-husband’s girlfriend made a realization about him that I had become accustomed to during our marriage. Through a single, significant question, his new partner taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of self-love after unexpectedly reaching out to me.
After being divorced for five years, navigating life post-marriage has been quite the journey. My ex-husband, Ben, 48, and I, 45, were together for 13 years and have two amazing kids. Surprisingly, we have managed to maintain a good relationship even after our split.
A mother with two children | Source: Pexels
Our co-parenting relationship remains strong, despite the challenges we faced in our marriage. Ben and I have managed to maintain a surprising friendship that goes beyond expectations. Our divorce was amicable, driven by our divergent life goals.
Yesterday, we celebrated our eldest’s 16th birthday with a family dinner. Ben has been in a serious relationship with a woman named Lisa for about four months, and he informed me as soon as things started getting serious between them.
Birthday party image | Source: Pexels
We agreed to be open and honest for the sake of our children. He asked if he could bring Lisa to the birthday dinner. Although I would have preferred to meet her one-on-one first, I did not want to cause any drama or be intrusive, so I agreed.
When I met Lisa, I was relieved to find her friendly and eager to make a good impression. It was important to me that she be a good person, especially since she would be around my children.
Two women celebrating with a toast | Source: Pexels
She has a friendly smile and quickly started talking to me about the kids’ school and activities. It was clear that she was making an effort to fit in, which I found nice.
Throughout the evening, I observed Lisa’s attentiveness towards Ben. It was heartwarming, yet somewhat disconcerting, as I had never witnessed that aspect of him during our marriage. I attributed it to the excitement of a new relationship and made an effort to concentrate on the children and the festivities.
A couple enjoying their time together | Source: Pexels
During dinner, my eldest surprised me by giving me a birthday card from her father. It was unexpected since my birthday was months ago and Ben is not known for remembering such occasions.
Although my children’s father is a great man, he has always struggled with remembering and acknowledging special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays. Throughout our years together, Ben never once gave me a present or a card.
A person is seen lighting the candles on a birthday cake in this image. The photo was sourced from Pexels.
I was also in charge of organizing events such as the kids’ birthdays, Christmas, and more. Despite his forgetfulness, I did not mind. In response to my daughter’s kind gesture, I expressed my gratitude.
Lisa, who was sitting across from me, noticed my surprise. I had assumed she had convinced him to get it, but then I noticed her giving me strange looks. Uncertain of their meaning, I chose to socialize with other guests to avoid any uncomfortable situations.
An image of a woman holding a card. Source: Freepik
However, Lisa caught my attention by mentioning Ben’s forgetfulness with birthdays. She chuckled and asked if his forgetfulness was intentional, referring to the time he forgot her birthday a few weeks ago.
I chuckled, reminiscing about the countless anniversaries and special occasions that slipped his mind. “Honestly, Lisa, after 13 years of marriage and two kids, it is clear that he never quite mastered the art of remembering,” I explained. “But hey, that is just his nature.”
Two women engaged in conversation. Source: Pexels
Lisa appeared slightly disappointed, but I did not pay much attention and went on to engage with other guests. I steered the conversation towards more cheerful topics like family plans and the upcoming holidays. The rest of the evening proceeded without any issues, and we bid farewell with smiles and hugs.
That night, while preparing for bed, I received an unexpected text from an unfamiliar number. It turned out to be my ex’s new girlfriend, Lisa. She introduced herself and mentioned that she got my number from Ben. Lisa expressed her hope that it was alright to reach out and mentioned that she had a question to ask.
image of a woman holding her phone. Source: Pexels
Out of curiosity, I responded with, “Certainly, what is going on?”
Her response was prompt and left me in shock. It seemed that our previous conversation had left a lasting impact on her, as she now wanted to address Ben’s tendency to forget special occasions. She expressed her curiosity by saying, “I know this might seem strange considering our earlier discussion, but I need to understand if this is something that can be resolved.”
“Does Ben ever improve when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries? I do not want to make a big deal out of it if it is something that will not change.” I looked at my phone, feeling a range of emotions. A part of me wanted to caution her, to advise her not to have high expectations.
A woman appears shocked as she reacts to something on her phone. Source: Freepik
However, I was torn about whether to inform Ben about the situation. It appeared to be a significant concern for his new girlfriend, who seemed to desire more consideration for such matters. Nevertheless, I felt a sense of frustration at the thought of having to educate him on something he never made an effort to improve during our relationship.
I did not feel it was appropriate for me to get involved. So, I responded, “To be honest, there is a reason he is my ex. I can not predict if he will change or not, and I do not have the answers you are looking for.” I added, “It is a matter you two will have to work out together. It was nice meeting you, though.”
A woman engrossed in her phone, sending messages. Image source: Pexels
Months passed without much reflection on that evening. One evening, Ben unexpectedly called me. “Lisa and I broke up,” he said, sounding exasperated.
“Can you please provide an update?” I inquired, sincerely interested.
“She continuously exaggerated insignificant matters, constantly complaining about birthdays and anniversaries.” “I told her I do not care, but she kept pushing,” he said, clearly angry.
“I forgot our anniversary, and she left,” he explained, his voice filled with annoyance.
An individual engaged in a telephone conversation | Source: Pexels
I sighed, feeling a pang of guilt as I questioned whether I could have been more supportive of Lisa when she texted me. “Ben, did she express the importance of this to you?” I inquired, recognizing that my responses to Lisa may have contributed to their breakup.
After a brief pause, he said, “She emphasized the significance of such matters to her on multiple occasions.”
“It does not matter! You never made it a big deal,” he said defensively.
I explained the reason for our divorce to him, stating, “Well, sir, that is why we divorced.”
A woman speaking on the phone with a distressed tone | Source: Pexels
“That is not very nice, Kim,” my ex replied, sounding downcast.
“I apologize, but I ceased my efforts as I believed it would not have any significance to you,” I responded calmly. “However, please understand that it held importance for me and for her. It is essential to find a middle ground when interacting with others.”
Ben muttered quietly, indicating his reluctance to accept the truth. We concluded the call without any strong emotions, and I pondered Lisa’s situation. She deserved a partner who would value her efforts and return her affection.
A woman in distress contemplating | Source: Pexels
A few days later, I ran into Lisa at the grocery store. Despite looking tired, she mustered a smile upon seeing me. “Hi, how are you?” she politely inquired.
“I am doing well, thank you. And you?” I responded, genuinely interested.
“I am not doing well,” she confessed. “Ben and I ended our relationship.”
“I heard,” I whispered. “I apologize for the outcome.”
She let out a frustrated breath. “I could not handle the feeling of insignificance. I attempted to convey my emotions to him, but he appeared indifferent.”
Two women shopping at a grocery store | Source: Pexels
I nodded, empathizing with her frustration. “It can be difficult when others fail to appreciate your efforts. You deserve someone who will recognize your worth.”
Lisa smiled sadly and expressed her gratitude. She had hoped for a change in him.
“Change can be difficult for certain individuals,” I said in a comforting manner. “However, it is important to remain optimistic. You will eventually encounter someone who appreciates your worth.”
Two women shopping at a grocery store | Source: Pexels
After we went our separate ways, I experienced a unique feeling of resolution. Lisa’s difficulties reminded me of my own past frustrations, but they also emphasized the personal growth I had achieved since my divorce. I had come to accept Ben’s imperfections, but I also recognized that I deserved better than what he was capable of providing.
That evening, I gathered my children to discuss their dad. I aimed to convey that, despite his flaws, he had a profound love for them. We reminisced about his absentmindedness and shared fond memories of our time together as a family.
A mother bonding with her child in a heartwarming moment captured by Pexels.
Upon reflection, I felt a profound sense of tranquility. I had let go of the pain and letdown and was prepared to welcome whatever lay ahead. I wished for Lisa to find the happiness she deserved, and I was confident that I had made the correct decision by maintaining a healthy distance from their relationship.
Ultimately, it was not about special occasions. It was about discovering someone who genuinely valued and appreciated you for your true self. I had no doubt that Lisa would eventually find that person, and I felt a deep sense of contentment with my own life.
An image of a woman deep in thought. Source: Pexels
As I gazed at my children, I could not help but feel grateful for the love and joy they brought into my life. We had our fair share of ups and downs, but at the end of the day, we were a family, and that was what truly mattered. And as for Ben, I held onto the hope that he would one day come to appreciate the true priorities in life.
At that moment, I felt content. My children, friends, and a newfound tranquility brought me immense joy. It was everything I needed.
Two children form a bond. Source: Pexels
If you liked Kim’s story, you will be intrigued by this tale of a woman who found herself pregnant at the same time as her son’s girlfriend. The girlfriend’s demands regarding the baby’s name caused tension within the family.
This work is based on real events and people but has been altered for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been modified to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any similarity to actual persons, living or deceased, or real events is purely coincidental and unintended by the author.
This disclaimer states that the author and publisher do not guarantee the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters in the story. They are not responsible for any misinterpretation. The story is provided as it is, and any opinions expressed belong to the characters and do not represent the views of the author or publisher.
